I don’t often interject my opinion on social media threads, but earlier this week, a topic caught my attention. You see, a lady lost her 6 year old dog a earlier in 2018. She grieved. But towards the end of 2018, she and her family decided it was time to get another puppy. Fast forward to last week, and the day before the new puppy’s pick up date – that’s when the guilt ferrets invaded.
She posted her feelings in a group we both share membership in. She spoke how she felt guilty about getting a new puppy, feeling like she was replacing the late pet, and she wasn’t sure she could give this new puppy the love she deserved.
I responded, because I found out a truth myself this past year. A new puppy is an amazing salve. We lost our Waffles back in July and got a new puppy, Beans, in September. I had similar thoughts. I still miss Waffles like crazy, but Beans’s puppy joy has helped a lot.
Grief like this leaves a hole in your heart. And while getting a new puppy doesn’t heal that hole, it makes your heart grow even bigger, so that hole becomes less noticeable and painful. I still grieve for Waffles. Because I posted so many pictures of her, they show up in my social media flashback timelines all the time. Most of the time, they make me smile. Other times, they make me sad with the remembrance of how awesome a dog Waffles was.
What doesn’t happen is I ignore them and say to myself “Well she doesn’t matter any more. I have a new puppy now!” – because I’m not a heartless asshat.
But back to the story at hand.
Soon after, the thread was filled with the exact same sentiments. Over thirty other folks replied to this lady and helped her over her guilt bump, enforcing the fact that she was ready to love this new puppy. And the next day, she posted happy pictures of the new puppy.
Grief sucks because it isn’t something that you can just get over with a deep breath and a mental reset. It has to run its course and afterwards, it’s always with you. I titled this post a Little Bit of Grief because the loss of a pet is, to me, a little grief in comparison to losing a spouse or child. Pets’ lives are fleeting. I love my pups, but I know that they live short lives in comparison to humans. Your children and your spouse are supposed to be forever. Their loss cuts so much deeper.
I’ve lost all my grandparents, and I’ve even lost a cousin whom I damn near grew up with. I still mourn them. I still find myself crying at their individual tragedies and absences, but I’ve found things and experiences to grow my heart over the years, and it’s helped make the holes they left more bearable.