My Mantra

My mantra changes as I need it. As I’ve posted before, I’ve had multiple mantras, some to help me feel empowered during my most despairing times, some to just keep me motivated.

I am Fit

I am Flexible

I am Focused

I have momentum

I make good, healthy choices

And I don’t let the small things get in my way.

I want to point out that my mantra is 100% in the present tense. It’s amazing the power a verb tense holds. I don’t say anything in future tenses. I will make good, healthy choices means I’m not making them right here and now. I DO make good, healthy choices.

See how much more powerful that sounds?

I repeat my mantra to myself multiple times during my morning meditations. It’s typically how I start my routine and how I end it. Several times in the past couple of weeks, I’ve found myself in certain situations where I’ve subconsciously called on my mantra to help guide me through the particulars of the day. Just this past weekend, I faced my wickedest frenemy – Krispy Kreme donuts, but I told myself that I do indeed make good, healthy choices and I moved on. I was rewarded this morning by finally breaking my weight/body fat plateau that I’ve been stuck at since before Christmas.

 

 

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Zen and the Art of Landscaping

One of the most frustrating things about my mystery illness is my weakness and fatigue. I am a relatively active person. On a normal, healthy day, I get more that 12,000 steps in and at least one type of exercise in. On weekends, I’m hiking or kayaking or doing some major project around the house. I am no couch potato.

But when the fatigue strikes, my whole routine gets thrown for a loop. During my last flair up, I laid on the couch a lot. During this flair up, I’m trying to be better. Some days are harder than others. Right now, as I’m writing this, I’m physically exhausted and sprawled out on my couch, but I feel like I’ve earned some relaxation and couch time.

You see, Saturday was absolutely gorgeous, an amazing fall day, and there was some landscape work around the Loebick cabin that needed doin’. We have a nice little flower garden area in our back yard – two in fact. They’re lined by piles of rocks. Previously, we had cleared one of them out, unburying and moving every single rock, and filled it with pinestraw. For weeks, our yard was out of balance. Luckily, I was feeling well enough to help finally finish this task.

Illness be damned.

I was able to do a lot of the work sitting down. Digging the rocks out and moving them about a foot out from the border line was exhausting, but Greg did most of the heavy lifting (though some of those bigger rocks required a team-lift. That was a bit rough on the weakened system). The second flowerbed was a bit more difficult than the first, because we had a large Japanese Maple and a shrub thingy to work around. That Japanese maple is one of my most favorite features about my yard.

As a kid, I hated yard work with a passion. I didn’t understand why my mom planted flowers and vegetables. I didn’t know why she and my dad spent so much time outside building and maintaining flower beds.

But now I get it. I take a certain pride and ownership in my home, my refuge from the world. I want it to look beautiful, and I want to do that work myself. There’s a certain zen I feel while doing work. It’s difficult. Rocks are heavy and dirt gets everywhere. My hair gets icky and my feet hurt. But I can fully engulf my mind into the work at hand. At the end of the day, that hard, honest work is worth it. I can sit back (after a hot shower) and allow myself to be overwhelmed at the prideful satisfaction of a job completed and well done. Of seeing the before and after, and knowing that I’ve improved that parcel significantly.

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I am grateful that I had enough energy to accomplish this task.

I am grateful for my beautiful home in the woods.